I am grateful for driving an old beat-up junker because a nice, fuel efficient car would cost too much to insure.
I am grateful for Walmart and all its shoppers because my local stores are empty and quiet while I shop in them instead.
I am grateful for the beautiful solid wood table my ILs gifted us when we bought our house because otherwise my children would have nothing to spill their drinks on or scrape with their little toys.
I am grateful for all the crumbs that gather on my carpet daily otherwise I would have nothing to vacuum with my fancy Dyson.
I am grateful for so many friends with cellphones they can't afford to use so I don't have to hear my land line ringing incessantly with people who call just to say hello.
I am grateful for health insurance that affords me a visit to the doctor's office where I can catch any number of viruses I didn't already have going in.
I am grateful for the higher postal rates as now I have an impressive stack of used boxes I don't have to part with.
I am grateful for getting foreign change at the market so instead of being able to spend it my kids can see what a Canadian dime looks like.
I am grateful for sarcasm for how else could I get my cynical points across in a thread about gratitude?